Schools are due to open next week (as with everything, we’re cautiously saying ‘due’ cause goodness knows what can happen in a week in the current environment……). But this year, it’s a back to school like no other year. Families have had a lot to contend with in relation to the interruption to schooling this year:

The blunt end of the school year last March didn’t help. Children who were finishing up didn’t get their chance to say goodbye and go through many of the transitioning rituals – especially those who were finishing in their current primary or moving secondary school. Nor have those starting new schools had many of the orientation experiences they’d usually be offered.
Younger teenagers who had just entered first year in secondary school seemed to have a particularly tough time – they were just finding their feet, but for many, their new social networks weren’t yet strong enough to be tested by such changed social circumstances. For many this has led to distress and some social anxieties.

Kids have spent a long time at home with their parents. This has had some wonderful unforeseen upsides for families. But for some, it may mean that they lost a bit of their independence that they had been gaining in their first school years.
Teenagers going into exam years will probably have concerns about the face-to-face teaching they may have missed, what the new school year may look like and be worried about how that may impact them in their forthcoming exams.

So here are a few practical steps we can take to try to ease this transition back to school in these weird times:

1) Manage your own anxieties as far as possible: Yes – teachers are worried; We as parents are worried; Quite frankly, the whole country is worried; and many children and teens will also be worried. But in so far as possible, try not to add to that worry. Even if you’re not feeling it, try to be optimistic and proactive about the return to school. Kids will pick up quickly on your anxieties and they are probably already concerned enough simply returning to school. Be honest that yes, people are worried about COVID-19, but emphasise that we can all take personal responsibility to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe.

2) Teach children how to protect themselves: To help your child feel safer in school, give them the tools they need to keep them safe. For younger children, have them practice washing their hands on their own so they are confident they can do it in school independently. Consider things like can they blow their own nose or know what to do when they cough or sneeze? Can they manage to open the bottle of hand sanitiser in their bag on their own and close it properly again? Perhaps they’d like to wear a funky neck scarf that they can pull up over their nose and mouth? The same idea goes for older kids and teenagers – they’ll likely already be able to do these things, so it’s more a reminder that they have all these tools available to them, and can use them anytime. They may also like to practice some coping skills like deep breathing, or mindfulness exercises that they can use when facing the challenges ahead to help them feel more in control.

3) Get familiar with the school’s protocols: By now, most schools have communicated with families to explain some of the changes that will be occurring. This can include changes to the physical class structures; how social patterns may change, such as putting limited numbers of children into ‘pods’ or having staggered breaks; alterations to drop off or collection plans. Be sure to read any correspondence you get from the school, and if you have any questions , or you think your child may have particular needs that aren’t addressed in the protocols, talk to the school in advance.

4) Prepare your child for the school protocols: When you’re clear with the protocols, discuss them with your child. If the school has sent any videos, watch them with your child. Rather than just telling them what the protocols are, explain why they’re in place. Ask if they understand? Are they happy with that? Are there any questions they’d like to ask?

5) Link back in with school friends: Many children, particularly those who were new to their school last year, may have drifted a bit from their school pals, in favour of hanging out with their families (certainly at the beginning), and possibly kids in the neighbourhood, or at a summer camp. If this has happened, now is the time to introduce a couple of playdates or meetups with classmates so they can start to reconnect. If they’ve been linking in with their mates primarily on social media, try to encourage them to arrange a few face-to-face meetings. This way they’re more likely to rock on up to school eagerly and confidently where they left off.

6) Build up their independence: After 6 months at home, some children are very used to being back in the heart of their families, and may be worried about leaving that place of safety. Try to build up their independence in advance by giving them small responsibilities suitable to their age that they can do on their own. These could be anything as long as it is something they can successfully complete on their own without us having to ‘rescue’ them. It could be looking after a family pet; preparing food; doing gardening or odd jobs for a neighbour; picking up some shopping or delivering a message for you. Once they’ve done it, congratulate them and emphasise their independence and autonomy in doing it.

7) Establish good sleep patterns now: Let’s face it - things have gone to pot over the summer, and bedtimes have gotten lax. The one thing your child will need in order to be resilient to all the upcoming changes is to be well rested. The circadian (sleep / wake) cycle is very sensitive, and experts who work with jetlag estimate that for every hour your body is ‘out of sync’, it takes a day for your circadian cycle to adjust. Your child’s current routine may be out of rhythm with the school day, (particularly teenagers who are notorious for developing some erratic sleep habits when left to their own devices). So, if your child’s bedtime is currently 3 hours different to the routine they’ll need for school, it will take them at least 3 days to adjust to the required routine (and a few more to do it without complaining). So, get started now!

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Gillian Martin is a Chartered Psychologist with the Psychological Society of Ireland, and a Board Certified Behaviour Analyst